Dang It All, I Was Just Trying to Follow the Rules

[pameladlloyd]

Interdimensional Police Triage (IPT): "Hello. How may I help you?"

Me: "I’d like to report a missing dimension."

IPT: "When did you first notice the missing dimension?"

Me: "Last night. Around 9 p.m., or so."

IPT: "What was your first clue the dimension was missing?"

Me: "Movies. The movies in this dimension don’t match the movies in the one I grew up in."

IPT: "Please be more specific."

Me: "Well, in my dimension, the movie 'All the King’s Men' is about John F. Kennedy and the events leading up to his assassination. The title is a reference to his death. In this one, it’s about Huey Long."

IPT: "Your case has been filed. When we’ve determined your dimension of origin, you will be returned."

Me: "Wait a minute. I don’t know how long I’ve been away. What about my husband and my kids? I mean, I like it here. I reported the missing dimension because that’s what I’m supposed to do, not because I want to go back!"

IPT: "You know the rules. No unauthorized transdimensional migration. If you want to live in your current dimension, you’ll have to return to your dimension and file an application for temporary residency."

Me: "Wait a minute. I think I was just confused. I was probably thinking of 'All the President’s Men.'"

IPT: "In your current dimension, that movie is about the Watergate scandal during Nixon’s administration. Your attempt to deceive me will be noted in your file." Pauses. "Hmm. This isn’t the first time you’ve been found wandering in a dimension other than your dimension of origin. I see here that you were forcibly ejected from Faerie when you were twelve."

Me: "What? That’s in my file? I thought all the records for acts committed by minor children were destroyed when they obtained their majority."

IPT: "Not when they’re related to interdimensional travel. I’ve located your dimension of origin and transmigration will commence in fifteen seconds."

Me: "Wait! How long will it be once I file, before I can come back?"

IPT: "It varies. Generally, you can expect a ten year wait before your paperwork gets proc…"

Comments

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Ehhh, you're making me terribly anxious. How shall we try to contact you/rescue you if they have other plans in mind?

[pdlloyd.livejournal.com]

Well, first, let me see if I can managed to get back through the normal channels. I know the IPT operator claimed it could take ten years, but I've heard there are ways to, uhm, get to the head of the line. My biggest problem is being on their lists as some kind of troublemaker, when nothing that happened was really my fault. Really. People just shouldn't be leaving their magical treasures lying around where small kids can find them.

We've still got the Inter-dimensional-web, so if I need you, I'll let you know. Plus, I may be able to get a bit of help from some of the exiled Sidhe (even in hiding, they know how to pull rank), or possibly from a certain interdimensional traveler who knows how to get people through quietly. (My icon should give you a clue, though I don't dare mention his name.)

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

That guy's famous! Wow--I'm impressed.